Tuesday, March 25, 2014


It's not anger.It's bitterness. Bitter that I am only left with age and dust. And as I contemplate the days ahead I can't help but see darkness. As I contemplate death I only see loneliness.

There is no reason to be happy. There is no joy here. Go look elsewhere.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014


I started out this post several times. Mostly variations of emptiness. I collect specimen of my misery like an entomologist collects butterflies. Carefully preserved, labeled and mounted in a frame.
But fate intervened and put in my path three lines that has stuck.

The first being: To prove your courage
The second being: Not today
And the last : To regain what's lost

Monday, March 17, 2014

Second life or trying to cheer up

Having to lose it all to live again is extreme. It's not a shock to the system. It's death.

The person who once lived in the shell is gone. To be replace by a new tenant. Untried, unpredictable and unsure. It's not a reinvention of the self but it's getting to know the new person that's moved in.

I know why the phoenix has to rise from ashes. No rebirth can occur without annihilation.