Saturday, July 30, 2005

Black Tie, Mr Bond

I still stand by my view that men look so good in suits.


I attended a black tie gala the other day and lets say that oh, it was a sight for sore eyes. Because of their height, I must say that westerners look more dashing than their local counterparts but of course there were delectable exceptions.

I have been dishing out this piece of advice to all males and not one of them has taken it up.

It IS the suit that makes the man sometimes. (Of course we can rule Elton John as an aberration.)

Personally I like a man in Armani.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Bangsar is a happening place

Drama – part 1
24 July, Bangsar – at approximately 3 pm a Honda Unser drove down the road where I lived, swerved right into a neighbour's house, smashed the gate, hit the Mercedes sitting inside, then reversed and scraped a Hyundai Sonata parked on the side of the road before crashing into the house opposite, bringing down a good part of the wall and gate.

It so happened that the occupant of the house, a nice old lady, was in her garden at that time. The gate fell on her and the spikes pierced her chest. Her screams could be heard throughout the street. Luckily there was a doctor living nearby. He did his best in minimising the blood loss. She could not be moved until the ambulance arrived. She was still conscious when it took her away.

While all this was happening the driver coolly stepped out of the vehicle and calmly walked away from the scene. Witnesses speculated that the driver was either drunk or suffering from a mental illness.
Nothing is known of the state of the victim or the perpetrator as yet.

Drama – part 2
26 July, Lucky Garden(Bangsar) – at 8.15pm I was having a meeting at Strudles Café where a fight broke out involving a Malay driver of a Proton Saga and a drunk Mamak driver in a Kancil. The Proton Saga was reversing when the Kancil drove behind it. There was no collision and the event that transpired soon after were sketchy however there was a heated exchange where the Kancil driver provoked the Proton driver by hitting him from behind as he was about to return to his car.

His fiancée in the Proton car yelled for help in which time, the drivers exchanged blows, with the Kancil driver collapsing in a heap. Passers-by helped restrain one driver while the drunk was held back by his friend. His friend was allegedly also drunk as they both soon started arguing louddly among themselves.

During this time, the scuffle attracted a small crowd and disturbingly, one busybody who had no business in the affair joined in with a rod. Luckily he had no occasion to use it as the police soon appeared and intervened. The matter was resolved within 20 minutes.

End of Newsflash

Monday, July 25, 2005


[ Yawn!]
Back in KL again after a nice weekend home.

I was planning to write about UMNO, the debilitating crutch that is the National Economic Policy and the how ridiculous Proton looks blaming the government for non-support it when every one bloody well know how Proton cars are barely up to scratch.

Show me one person who would rather choose a Proton car over a Japanese make if they both cost the same. But oh, I forget, we need to protect our automotive industry as we are not competing on a level playing field. This oft-quoted magical playground is the Shangri-La of our nation, one promising bounty and untold riches.

But as much sarcasm I can bestow on this, I will stop now. There are far better feats to celebrate in the world.
Lance Armstrong has won his seventh consecutive Tour de France.
More than a champion of the punishing sport, he has shown the world the sheer power of the human spirit. His successful battle against testicular cancer (which had soon spread to this lungs and brain), has given hope to millions as has his determined wins. His is the face of a survivor, warrior and a time and again champion.
Not bad for a Texan!

Friday, July 22, 2005

Away, away

Ah ladies and gentlemen

My parents are back from the Middle East and I shall be finding my way home to the countryside (sounds so romantic, innit) for good food, satellite TV and petty domestic bickering. Near bliss.
The Hainanese chicken rice in Taiping is da bomb, I tell you.

So I shall postpone my thoughts on the UMNO general assembly till next week… after a good snort at the newspapers and a vigorous boil of my blood reading the political weblogs.

And I hope to be reading Chomsky this weekend.

This cannot be good for my health.

My brain would have me be socialist if my heart had not been seduced by the spoils of modern living. Pearl earnings, unlimited Ben and Jerry’s and people to order around being just three of them.

Monday, July 18, 2005

What's so hebat?

Sebenarnya bahasa itu sememangnya indah. It would be a dream to be able to make a living out of it.

We have this rich diversity of language in this country, something we take for granted. It is a pity though that most of us who are confidently fluent in English tergagap-gagap when it comes to "chakap-ing" Melayu. And those yang sibuk bersastera melayu pantang berbahasa omputeh.

Normal-lah to lament the poor standard of English among our people. Yet you cannot deny that when it comes to embracing our national language, the apathy is quite startling. Of course I am referring to us non-Malays.

The Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka's efforts to meninggikan martabat bahasa only gets attention in the Melayu papers. Preaching to the converted, that is what it is.

Yet there are wonderful exceptions. Salleh ben Joned has always held a fascination for being a brilliant bilingual wordsmith and his courage to be spectacularly provocative. The 62 year old Jebat of the literary arena. His first book, Poems Sacred and Profane in 1994, was described as 'the most traumatic experience for the Malay literary scene'.

Music wise, Ahli Fiqir has been getting quite a bit of airplay even on the English stations. What a relief it is to escape the the painful hiphop of Nico and 4U2C. Remember them? This Ahli Fiqir - I was almost disappointed to learn that they are made in Singapore. Tauted as possessing lirik with some makna, suara nusantara, acclaimed pujangga kakilima.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Revisiting the Perennial Question

I remember now why I have left online chatting.

Over the weekend I had the misfortune of chatting with a married man who was out looking for a good time behind his wife’s back.

Married for 10 years with three beautiful kids, he loves his family and will stand by them no matter what. Yet, he sees nothing wrong in betraying his wife’s trust as long as she does not know about it. His rationale is that he only makes love to his wife but has sex with other women, which is like a hobby, not unlike tennis. Yet he makes it clear that no, he does not screw around, it’s just sex. And oh, he adds that he only chooses women that are better than his wife or else there would be no justification.

How can I relate to you how badly that conversation riled me up. And on so many different levels too. Of course I knew that I had a better chance of convincing Al-Qaeda to go pacifist than for him to understand why I was flaming him.

But I was so disheartened at the end. So if a man is meant to be polygamous and a woman monogamous, my question is: So how?

The beau cautioned me not to generalize. Of course he refused to discuss it knowing full well the dangers of being within a stabable distance from me. Yet he did mention something before falling asleep and ending all chances of my sharp comeback. He muttered that for every man that does the unspeakable, there is a woman who does the same. And that our lives are very short.

And I was like, what the hell does that mean?

I was told by a colleague that the only thing that has kept him from straying is his faith. So fear of eternal damnation is stronger than his love for his wife, in other words. I am told that I am not to judge people, but how else would you approach it? If you were in my shoes, could you do it?

Call me jaded but I wonder what is the value of the institution of marriage? With so many clueless wives and not to mention a permissive society, how far can you trust your partner? Or do we live hedonistic lives knowing that we will die tomorrow?

Honestly, I have no answers. I was so close to marriage once. Now I turn my back on wedding shows and run away from bridal fairs. I have even refused a ring. I harbour no fantasies of flowing champagne and floral bouquets. It is so easy to be taken for granted after the romance shifts out and familiarity moves in.

So how?

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Teddy tales and undercover underwire

The thing about advertising your blog to your friends is that you can't really dish out the juicest of revelations like the state of your sex life or blaphemious questions about God or whether you really think your lesbian pal would actually fancy you, without your audience, (who currently trust you with their kids) wondering if you are a perv, an terrorist or just plain desperate.

Well whatever, today I want to discuss lingerie shopping. I remember a time when lingerie shopping equated tiny lace and ribbons for playful flaunting, as oppose to today's frantic search for fitting corsets to redistribute lumpy tissues in an all bid to coax out a feeble silhouette - all in fashionable flesh colours too please.

As much as I would love to revive the shopping sprees for satin pajamas and knickers of William Morris prints, there have been times when I have left the lingerie stores pratically in tears.

For example, nothing quite spoils a shopping experience like when a tall, slim and attractive woman walks in and picks the exact same number you're holding in your hand. Only two size smaller. You know what's worse? When her drop dead handsome and devoted boyfriend walks in with her. This happened in La Senza KLCC.

Next example:
Venue: Marks and Sparks-Birmingham.
I was laughed at by the sales lady when I asked for a mimimizer for my udders. Her Famous quote, "We don't have Minimizers for THAT small, love"
Next venue: Jaya Jusco, MidValley Kuala Lumpur. I was just looking for a normal bra. Says Audrey International salesgirl in her booming voice that carries right to the Shoe Department,"No size! We langsung don't have so big size. Yours not normal!" I wanted bruise her but I did the noble thing and pitied her instead. I may not be normal but she is short, stupid and ugly.

Example 3:
As I approach the Triumph counter with my Mom, the shopping assistance turned to me and queried, "Sister, you want girdle? Can hide all your fat one!"

Sob, sob, sob.

I am considering buying all my underwear online.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Sundae reveries

It has been a week of a lot of ice cream. And it did little to improve my mood when the hot fudge sundae from Gelare is the worst I have ever had. I had to practically spoon out the deluge of cheap cream to get to the ice cream proper. The overpriced glop.

Why the OD on cold treats you ask? Tis because my dear, I am going through a late twenties crisis. Oh wipe that "Oh no here we go again" look off your face. And STOP rolling your eyes. I warn you.

I have a sickening feeling that this is only Scene I of a much bigger production that is starting to unfold, steadily gaining momentum building up into a climax that will ultimately be the Tragedy of Turning 30.

Yes,I worry about the future. A lot. Which is why when I was having breakfast with two friends of mine, both well into their thirties and doing extremely well, (with one commanding a monthly income just shy of what a Kancil costs) the enormity of how miserable I was doing hit me like the a speeding Mercedes. Sure they had a head start in their career but the most defining aspect of their characters is that they have not stopped pushing boundries yet while I have set up my barricades a few years ago.

Limiting yourself is a very destructive thing to do. But it is such an easy habit. I guess my being a recluse is making things worse.

In anycase I am summoning up the will to practise law again. I hate doing PR and right now, oh I hate my job. But surely hating my job is not a good reason to take up the profession again. But then Belum Cuba Belum Tahu right?

This brings back painful memories of my interview with Skrine. Oh the shame. When I was exposed for being a hopeless charlatan when it comes to being a serious student of law, my dignity crumbled. It was very telling and the senior partner was very kind with his put down, yet the shame branded into my pride will remind me of how unprepared I am to enter the world of sharks and be respected like family.

If you have caught The Hitchhiker's Guide playing like mad everywhere now, you will get the picture when I when I say that the only character I could relate to was Marvin. I have a good idea of how I annoy people now.