Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas

I wish you peace in your household and in your heart. I wish you joy. I wish you good tidings. May you revel in beauty, love and magic today and everyday. Realise that you are loved more than you will ever know. XOXO

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Congratulations!


Cheers to the happy couple! Sorry we went to the wrong wedding. Jalan HS Lee is home to many many buildings. Lucky thing we checked to see if we were at the right temple. We nearly died because when we steped into the temple, the maplai was not as handsome. Heck it was not even the correct maplai. Lucky we didn't just help ourself to the mutton yet. We went out back, through the alleyway, past through some back doors, in and out, roundabout and just when we thought we found the correct location, we almost died the second time when we saw the same maplai! His guests must be wondering why he invited a bunch of hysterical idiots.

We made it eventually to the right wedding and here is proof! You both look gorgeous!

Saturday, December 15, 2007

dead terrorist

If you are sensitive, go away. Sense of humour compulsory.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Moirai

It's December again. The seasons have come and gone.

Time for reminiscing about the year that was. I think I did rather well this year. Far fewer personal tragedies to bury in the backyard and certainly more laugh lines. God, I have such deep laugh lines spearing my eyes I looked like my granny. Not a bad thing. A testimony that the world has been kind to me, kan?

Have been quite ill for a couple of weeks and even now the wheezing still does make frequent cameo appearances. Especially after the occasional cigarette. If you are thinking of emailing me a lecture, don't. Silent rolling of eye, can. All calls to repent have been met with asinine obstinacy.

In any case, I have absolutely nothing to report because office grievances have come to be so convoluted that it is easier to discuss Dante with a clotheshorse than to explain the ecosystem that is workplace politics. Sigh.

Of course, if you have been reading the news, you would know that we have been having some exciting going-ons in the city with people demonstrating in the streets. This is overdue if you ask me. Rejection of status quo is bound to happen sooner or later and civil disobedience has always been the catalyst of change. I just hope there is no escalation of violence. Regardless of which side initiates or instigates. Wishful thinking I know.

I'd love to be traveling again.
London.
Definitely. Whole heartedly. To go collect my heart back. Its been so long. Damn you, poverty!

Facebook has also been seeing quite a bit of me lately. Amongst my other addictions this year. And I have been hooked to plenty. Some tacky, some downright dumb and some that will take a long time to get over. I think we as humans have a propensity for seeking out trouble and in the process, the journeys bestow us that depth that defines us as individuals. I think I am heading for heartbreak.


Thursday, November 15, 2007

And Civilization Commeth

So guess what the big buzz in Taiping is now.
Hypermarts!
No, I am not kidding.

For all you non-Taiping people, this tiny town has resisted change for the most part of my growing up.

Like when McDonalds opened, it was soft serve salvation from heaven. Finally somewhere decent to date.


Fast forward 10 years and you can just imagine the frenzy Tesco caused when it opened its doors. Located at Jalan Kamunting, apparently it caused a traffic jam (!) on the first day.

So when Giant opened on Deepavali day, we stayed far far away. Yet the allure of fresh plastic bags and long aisles of fast moving consumer goods was too strong. Resistance was futile. Especially if you have a mom like mine.

Ok we kids were homesick for KL. The shameless consumerism soothed the soul.

In any case, it was a good break. In between the hypermart hopping, we did complete our pilgrimage to the usual places of gastronomic worship i.e. the goreng pisang stall, Kuala Sepetang seafood, Green House, Prima et cetera, et cetera.

And it was all good!

I got her eyes

I started this blog a lifetime ago, writing about a grandfather I hardly knew.

This Deepavali, having gone home to visit my grandmother and of course get cozy with her infamous mutton curry, in between mouthfuls, I was a little touched and struck by the independence (perhaps loneliness),kindness and even tenderness of this matriarch.

We don't talk you know. Mainly because I don't speak Tamil and she speaks hardly any English. But year by year, I get by with saying Yes, No and Enough Already. She makes fun of my Tamil and I hang my head in shame. Repeat 20 years.

My earliest recollection of my Grandmother was her sitting in the kitchen with my dad, talking deep into the night, the yellow flicker of the single oil lamp etching shadows on the wall. It was during Deepavali past I think. I was five. We were visiting and we all bunked in my Grandfather's squatter house then. Within its papan walls and zinc roofing, there was so much laughter which due to circumstance and adult foolishness finally ebbed away into nothing. For us anyway.

My Grandmother is ageless and yet, as I grow older, I see her descent into old age and my heart breaks a little.



Hehehehe
My Maiden Medical Joke

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Happy Deepavali

Please note that the blogger will be stuffing her face with homemade puri, mutton curry and assorted cookies this festive season as she makes her yearly pilgrimage to her Grandmother's to try to deplete her food supplies.


Happy festival of lights.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Donut are Friends

After quaffing a dozen donuts within 3 days, I can officially say that the best donuts currently in Malaysia are JCO’s.

With their first outlet at The Pavilion, Jalan Bukit Bintang, you won’t miss the store. It’s the store with the long train of people queuing out front.

And yes, it is better than Dunkin Donuts and tho many peeps have raved about Big Apple donuts at the Curve, trust me, with one bite, you will be hooked to JCo. In fact I find that Big Apple donuts are an inferior copy of Jco’s. I know this for a fact as I had them back to back. sorry no photos. They were gone before you can say Atkins Diet.

JCo is an Indonesian franchise (surprise!) that happens to be very successful peddling American styled donuts. The donuts are fluffy and the toppings/fillings are to die for. They come in peanut butter & white chocolate, chocolate coffee, almonds, tiramisu (my fav) and.. oh just check their website.

Moist and generous, it is the perfect panacea for broken hearts, doomed careers, raging PMS and a plethora of miseries and sorrows. As well as for those niggling munchies that never go away without anything heavily calorie fortified. Apparently not all sugared confectionery are created equal, dearies.

Yes I am going to pay for all that decadence. I guess wearing pajamas throughout the weekend is a sign that I am not ready for the truth.

Anyway, back to those sinful hateful donuts. I have never been a big fan of the stuff but if this is the taste of JCO, I am ready to petition Krispy Kreme to get their ass down here.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Hit the Road, Jack

I had the utter misfortune of crossing paths with an unbelievable piece of work.

Have you ever come across a character who is so anal, condescending, maddeningly self-opinionated and insulting that Hitler could take lessons? Ok, this guy is worse!

Thank GOD my working relationship with him has ended because he is a tyrant that feeds on making people feel bad.

But the old adage is true, you only allow people to hurt you. Don’t stand for the nonsense and the hurtful words just bounce right off. I quickly realised what a small small man he is.

He gets worked up analysing people and forming blanket opinions of them. I just think that he is a pathetic little creature who is attention starved. Maybe that is why he is very pissed off with me, because I don’t give a rat’s ass.

Ah, the sweet riddance of bad rubbish. It will be a good month indeed.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Happy Mid Autumn

I am not usually a mooncake person but I guess its just because I have not met the right mooncake.

Thank you Matthew for posting over the good stuff and yes, they were wonderful. Everybody loved them. Me included.


Same time, same box next year?
A crate will be welcomed as well and I believe that the HongKong postal service would be equally thrilled for the postage.

Thanks!

Friday, September 28, 2007

Keihls, Heels and Automobiles

My schedule has been insane! My team just finished organising a buka puasa do and I am so grateful to have been spared. Mainly because my other deadlines are murder. 15 hour work days do great damage to the immune system. I can certainly go on and on with my afflictions but suffice to say that i still feel that i am growing a sock in my throat and my sudden craving for cheese and mac is distracting.

Oh and The Pavillion is open! Posh with lots of luxury brands. Its like walking in Singapore. Tangs will open its doors there soon and not to be outdones,Robinsons is opening at The Garden's Mid-Valley. Shopping anyone?

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Freedom Film Festival 2007

Over the weekend, I just managed to catch the Freedom Film Festival held at the Central Market Annex. Activism is alive and well and surprisingly, unbanned.
For now.

It gladdens my heart that our young people are still at it, pushing the proverbial envelope. Me and Sean were conspicuously quiet, fully aware of our affiliation with the Establishment. I bet they kill lawyers too.

In any case, it was courageous film making, honest and sometimes humorous, non-mainstream offerings that may not go down too well with the powers that be. I mean extra-judicial killings and governments demolishing places of worship, they are not really popcorn fare.

And after watching the clip on a Singaporean protest, I think that nation has the most "baik" policemen. Compared to the "pelt with tear gas"- then-"bawak balik balai"-dengan "free black eye sebab 'terhantuk" modus operandi of our everyday heroes.

I wish i could have attended the night screenings but not having a car or a chaperone sucks. I was looking forward to watching the films on transgender issues but the screening was at night la. Damn. Anyway - thanks Sean for the heads up and sirap limau and thanks Bwada for the transport.

Deliciously Heady


Oh and I received flowers!

THANK YOU!

Hi -Jinks


My condo building is being painted and we have workers riding the outdoor lifts up and down our window. And good God, these people really don't think much of safety.

They are all indonesians and gheez they have nerves of steel. And I don't see them wearing any harness and they actually climb up the ledges to do the cleaning and scraping and painting. I mean don't fall and lower the price of my real estate please.

After painting the walls, they climbed up on the roof. And I live at the penthouse level of a 15 storey building. So selamba . One of the dudes even managed to give me a come hither smile.
I was like " no fucking way!' Anyway, some pics.

WTF!

First watched this from a friend's blog and truly, I am speechless.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Don't try this at home

I love ads. Especially those with punchlines that you don't see coming.
I was laughing like a banshee in the office. Warning: Don't be drinking anything when you see this.

Friday, August 31, 2007

An Enchanted Evening

One benefit of being on the High Commission's mailing list is that every time English royalty (both the blue bloods and the VIPs) comes to town, I get to be part of the mob of invited well wishers that usually welcomes the said dignitary.

The Duke of York is in KL as the Queen's representative for our nation's 50th Independence celebrations. I was invited to a reception on Wednesday at the Convention Centre. I worked too close by to give any plausible excuse not to attend. I do not relish going to these formal dos because I am always the among the youngest there while all the others are established professionals and industry players. And I carry as much fame and glory as a plastic wall fixture.

Anyway one thing has to be said about the European embassies. Their food may suck, but by Jove, the wine is always good. So it was to my utter disappointment that there was no alcohol at the reception. Of course old friends were there too, so the evening turned out lovely. It was a nice opportunity to network as well although I met so many other lawyers, it could pass as a Bar Council meeting.

In any case, Prince Andrew looked affable enough but there is a snootiness attached to the English aristocracy that can't quite be dismissed. No, let me retract that statement. Prince Edward, the Earl of Wessex had none of the airs. Well, I am biased anyway. He made time to talk to me once and boy I was chuffed. Of course I in turn blabbered like a bumbling idiot.

Well my friends were excited at the prospect of meeting the Duke of York. I didn't understand what the fuss was about until one of them explained that Andrew was to their generation what William is to mine. Then it all clicked into place. Of course the ladies that were with me that night were all well into their 40s and hence they could not fathom why I rather chew on breadsticks than to make an attempt to shake HRH's hand.

I am such a peasant. But in any case, it was lovely to get out and socialise again and be among long lost friends.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Tapai

Weekends are too damned short. That speaks volumes of course about my time management skill. Or rather, my total lack of one.

The highlight of the week was of course Lin's wedding. On Monday I also attended her akad nikah (solemnisation ceremony) and she looked so prim, sweet and proper. We were like, what have you done with the real Lin, imposter? Can the monster really be tamed by brocade and lace?

Although totally rejecting our overtures to make her wedding one to remember, (our plans were to mess up her fiance's lafaz nikah (vows), they did make their night memorable because right as we were burping our last burp at the feast, the lights went out in the tent. After we deliberately made a big fuss, the lights went out at the wedded couple's dais too. Despite the fact that the lights flickered on within minutes, the pair have claimed the dubious honour of being called the Pasangan Pengantin yang Tak Bayar Bil Api. Apt I thought.

In any case, the wedding reception was gorgeous. Lilies and jasmine were strewn everywhere. There were royalty, politicians and of course us. VVIPs all. Very very Incorrigible Persons. It was held at the beautiful Dewan Perdana Felda.

When the Chinese have weddings at the Chinese restaurants, they will almost always have the silly do-da where for the first course, the banquet hall will go dark and the waiters will bring our the cold entree to the corny tune of Kitaro or Drunken Master. Very embarrassing.

For most Malay sit down dinners, all the lauk-pauk dishes will already be on the table as guests take their seats. But this has not stopped the inventive caterers from injecting the dramatic into the meal. As the lights dimmed and the familiar tune of Putri Gunung Ledang filled the air, my alarm bells went off. Oh oh. And true enough, from the corners of the hall, a procession of waiters carrying tea lights emerged. And in their hands, they carried.. the pots of nasi!

And of all the traditions the Malays have to adopt from the Chinese, my question is this.. Tim Kai??? Maybe this has been going on for ages, I don't know but if the Indians catch on to this, I know then that there truly is a bangsa Malaysia.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Silly definitions

Poyo: Posmen yang kerja di kilang yoyo

Good will hunting

Wee Meng Chee could not have found a worse time to broadcast his rap videos. Right when nationalistic pride is at its pinnacle and politicians are playing musical chairs to the tune of "I am more patriotic than thou" it is no wonder that he is being brought to slaughter for just being a stupid kid.

After posting his infamous version of Negaraku on YouTube which of course caused Umno to go up in arms, I can't help but wonder how come our political centurions don't exhibit the same vigour and zealous persecution when it comes to blatant cases of corruption, poverty and keris-waving.

Ha, with such wishful thinking, you would think that I was born yesterday.

Added with the latest crackdown on political bloggers, it would seem that if one is not a ruling party sycophant, we are nothing but a bunch of lying, scheming and defaming rogues that are out to bring ruin to the country. (Damn, our secret is out.)

I hope someone will take the time to go beyond the prank and study the deeper motivations on why this young man is so audacious and disgruntled. He represents a generation who may not necessarily condone his actions but who won't totally disagree with him either. If his work was utter rubbish, I don't think his blog would record over 100000 hits. He must be making a killing with his Google ads.

Humble moi never fully understood the May13 tragedy mainly because nobody wanted to tell me about it. There was like zero literature. And like everything else, once the sacred 'sensitive issue' label is ribboned around any matter the government is squeamish to address, it is swept under the carpet with fervent hopes that it will disappear like magic. But as the hump starts to build at the corner of said floor mat, it is a no brainer that sooner or later, it will need to be aired.

While now we are seeing gradual acceptance of May13, I do not think our young generation, the masses of Wee Meng Chees will wait 20-30 years before they make their grouses and festering dissatisfaction's known, despite the efforts of our pihak-pihak tertentu to safeguard their vested interest and status quo.

If ever we relive May13 again it would have spawned out of ignorance, non-existent unity plans and the shameful failure to learn from history. As it is, most people already have cynical views of our merdeka clarion call for racial unity. To most of us, true merdeka means more than just sovereignty; it also involves being accepted as true citizens of Malaysia regardless of our bangsa, with no more or less privileges than the rest of our brethren.

With all the emotional statements to the press and fiery debates to rally the masses, suddenly I see a lucrative potential in marketing torches and pitchforks. If a witch hunt is what they want, why should capitalism stand in its way.

Yet despite all the sham and drudgery that is being painted in the newspapers, I want to have the hope that sanity will prevail. Across the races and throughout cyberspace, voices of good sense and good conscience can be heard. I just hope they won't be intimidated out of existence.

For the heck of it I will end this entry with this hilarious quip from the Federal Territory PAS Youth Exco member Kamaruzaman Mohamad on banning Gwen Stefani's concert:
“This concert does not bring any good to Malaysians except invite youngsters to enjoy themselves, mix around too freely, get drunk and commit sins,”

Shit, I never knew there was a bar at the stadium and what was I thinking by having fun and sacrificing my soul. I should be so ashamed of myself.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Lust and Penance

I really miss my dSLR. If you didn't know already, the well-loved personal camera and all those beautiful lenses (my preciousss) had to be sold to furnish my rented apartment, which still looks like a Customs warehouse by the way, infested with rabbits instead of rats.

I actually persuaded my department buy a dSLR. Wrote a board paper for the funding and everything. But as any photographer will tell you, the camera body does not leave one lusting, its the exquisite lenses that people eat Maggi Mee to save up for.

My friend Jo was blogging about bokeh effects and that reminded me of my age old longing for the Canon EF 70-200mm f/2.8 L lens.. and since i am fantasising, lets make that with IS as well. Sigh. When my mom prophesied that I would have expensive taste, she wasn't kidding. Not a good thing when one is self funding. Where have all the sugar daddies gone? Why are they never around when you need them.

I took the above picture with a Canon 70-200 f4 lens.


Thursday, August 09, 2007

Reprimand

On the way home in my friend's car, I was complaining bitterly about not being paid enough until I saw an Indian man in faded clothes stop his motorcycle at the side of the road to pick up a discarded soda can and put it in his carrier basket before riding off again.

I felt so deeply ashamed of myself.

Balloons


HAPPY 24th BIRTHDAY, Ah Boy!
The rabbits send their love!
I will give you the honour of buying me dinner.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

No Burp Zone

At SS2 PJ, behind the police station, there is this large clearing which previously housed a nursery and a store selling every kind of plastic ware imaginable. The nursery and plastic emporium is gone now and in its place is this car wash and open-air shack selling durians.

It is no ordinary durian stall, mind you.
It comes with a menu (ooo), tables and chairs (waaa), and naturally racks and racks of durian. Even if you don't know your D24s from your D88s (durian varieties, not bra sizes) all you need to do is just tell your waiter aka durian connoisseur aka the man weilding the machete, of your gastronomic preference be it sweet, tart, bitter or tasting like wine.

Speaking of the taste-like-wine durians I have always wondered why the heck is it called so because it taste like no wine I know. You have heard of wine tasting of fruits but a durian tasting of wine is a role reversal gone wrong, no? But I digress.

You will easily spot the fellas running the shack by their signature red T-shirt with the shack's URL printed on the back. Yup, they are online! www.durianss2.com Their website comes with flash intro, music. picture gallery - the works. Only thing dubious is their logo of the pakcik eating what I suspect is a bowl of pulut durian, breathing out durian flames. Hmm

Anyway, the workers will select the durian for you, hack the fruit open and even pack it for you in a nice Styrofoam box so that you won't even need to chip a nail or puncture a blood vessel prying them open. But naturally it comes with a price.

A friend and I ordered three small durians, had it opened and packed to take away. We were charged RM64. For over RM20 per durian, when I opened my box at home, to my surprise and dismay, 4 seeds were all I had. Granted it was D24 and tasted like ambrosia but it was, to borrow a phrase from Mom, like eating gold!

Saturday, July 28, 2007

House elf

Tis the weekend and I am pooped. Maintaining an apartment is tiring stuff. Especially when one lives with others who think that chaos is the natural order of things and find it sacrilegious to interfere with the universe.

There is no way I can possibly move back into a rented room again. Mainly because I have collected too much stuff. The fridge and washing machine for example.

People have warned me not to gather too much rubbish, which would only make my moving out more difficult. Yet how long is one to postpone having a comfortable home to avoid having to suffer a day (or two) of inconvenience in moving out? Plus I am more than willing to pay for movers. Best things since sliced bread!

Anyway, I finally went back to Segambut for my second taste of their famous seafood noodles. We sat right back, under a tree facing the kitchen. If you are acquainted with typical Malaysian food establishments, you would know at once that this is NOT a good idea. When it comes to street food, ignorance is bliss - from what goes in the pot, to the sight of the pot itself.

Yet it is through the unhygienic exposure to these unsung microbes that we Malaysians have stomach linings that can withstand anything short of rocket fuel.

The owners actually make their own chilli paste and while we slurped our tomyam noodles we watched at this worker patiently stirred a humongous vat of chilli and belacan and some unknown concoction. His wok is as big as the ones the Malays use to make dodol. And his large custom-made spatula is as tall if not taller than me. Of course he was doing all this in front of an open garbage shute and compulsory drain with pieces of trash strewn about. And yet, people come to this place in droves.

I so would not recommend bringing any Mat Salleh guests here. They would get food poisoning faster than you can say Ta Pau!

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Faux pax, Legal Qualifying Board!

Taken from The Star, July 25 2007
Ex-CLP exam director guilty

KUALA LUMPUR: Former Certificate in Legal Practice (CLP) examination director Khalid Yusoff was found guilty yesterday by a Sessions Court here of forgery and cheating in the July 2001 examination “masterlist”.

Judge Harmindar Singh Dhaliwal, who ruled that the prosecution had succeeded in proving the case beyond reasonable doubt, said Khalid was solely motivated to increase the passing rate of the CLP examination.

“The accused has no lawful authority to upgrade the marks as he did. I find the explanation given by the accused quite bizarre and mind-boggling,” remarked the judge, who fixed sentencing for Monday.

Upon hearing the verdict, Khalid, 56, hugged his lead counsel Jagjit Singh who had to console him. His wife and children broke down in court.

Khalid was alleged to have forged the CLP examination masterlist with the intention of using it for cheating at the Malaysian Legal Profession Qualifying Board’s office on the 27th floor of Menara Tun Razak between August 2001 and Sept 13 that year.

He faces a maximum jail term of seven years and a fine for the charge under Section 468 of the Penal Code.

In discussion: Khalid (centre) talking with his lawyers Jagjit Singh (right) and Akbardin Abd Kadir (left) while leaving the Sessions Court premises in Kuala Lumpur yesterday.

He is also alleged to have cheated the board by deceiving it into believing that the July 2001 CLP examination results reflected the actual marks given by the examiners and inducing it into endorsing the masterlist at the same place on Sept 13 that year.

He faces a maximum five years in jail or fine, or both, under Section 417 of the Penal Code for this charge.

The judge said a perusal of the witness statement of the late board chairman Tan Sri Mohtar Abdullah revealed that Mohtar did not say that the marks could be increased to maintain passing rate of 30%.

He said Mohtar, who was then the Attorney-General, had said in his statement that any matter outside the professional duties of Khalid including the bumiputra quota should be referred to the qualifying board.

The judge found that Khalid did not refer the matter to the qualifying board.

He said Khalid had testified that the criteria used to upgrade the marks were called “moderation” and that it was an accepted process, legal and part of his professional duty as stated in his contract of employment.

“The existence of a review committee cannot absolve the accused because they are not like the qualifying board members,” the judge said, adding that the function of the review committee was to reflect an acceptable passing rate of between 30% and 35%.

“But the evidence shows that the passing rate for the July 2001 examination was very low, only 12%. After review, the passing percentage was raised to 25%.

“Although the accused claimed that he applied several criteria to upgrade the marks, I feel it is a means to an end. The objective was just to pass the candidates,” he said.

The judge said Khalid knew very well that there was a new CLP board meeting on Sept 13 but the accused had remained silent when queried by board member High Court judge Abdul Wahab Patail on how the exam results were evaluated.

Khalid is out on bail pending sentencing.

Monster says: So after YEARS of denying the existence of a racial quota for the CLP exams, what the hell was that reference to the bumi quota in the report? And having it referred to the Qualifying Board only shows that discrimination in the legal profession is institutionalised.

Monday, July 23, 2007

avada kedavra annoying neighbour

Speaking of squashes. The household  just had a shouting match with my witless neighbour. Tempers were flying all over the place.

We have been having car park issues for a time and one of the main culprits who parks in our spot is our neighbour. Our neighbour's house holds many occupants, and while they have a spot just next to ours, they will always park another car of theirs in our spot. Although we clamp, they come up with some cock and bull story and the guards will let them off. Incompetant fools. We can't even use our spot when we really needed to because of this nitwit.

We have clamped, the guards have given them warning and yet still this continues. Today we were in the midst of clamping the car when this chap came running and we naturally snapped and scolded him because this is becoming such a nuisance. He maintained that it was NOT his car and he is only moving it.

And he had the audacity to be pissed off that we scolded him because he maintains that it was not his car but his friend who was the one who parked there. We don't even know if it is true. Just like that. He was like, hey, it is not me who parked here, not my fault, buzz off! No apology, no promise to tell his friend not to do it again, nothing!

The security guards were there to tell him to tell his friend and he asked us to go upstairs and
scold his friend instead. And then the security guards just let him go without fining him! My neighbour is the typical chinese secondary school gangster type. The selfish type that would not listen to reason.

One one hand, with these kind of specimen, I do fear real retribution but on the other hand, I can't let them walk all over us. Now I know why the rich live in bungalows with as much land as possible from their neighbours.

Where is Fawkes?

Ok folks. There has been no blogging for the past few days because I had more pressing matters to attend to. For instance :

1. Heavily deriding MPH, Popular and Times bookstores for their foolish and uncalled for action of refusing to sell Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows because Tesco and Carrefour are selling the book for RM40 cheaper. I have sent MPH a very cross email and I hope that more people do.

2. Reading the above mentioned Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (bought from Tesco)

What is worse than being at work with less than 4 hours sleep?
Having NOBODY to talk to about the book!

The book was laboriously slow in the middle but it was very very necessary to build momentum and to allow the reader to experience Harry's frustration, longing and agitation in relation to his mission. Must read. I was right about two unlikely heroes and I SO wish i had a wand. Then I can turn my neighbours into tiny roaches that I can squash. ( If there was a Hogwarts I will so be head prefect of Slytherin, I am sure)

In my humble opinion, it is the best Potter book ever. So much so that while I was taking notes for a meeting today, I unconciously was scribbling Dark instead of Date, which reminded me of the Dark Mark, which then reminded me of Malfoy, then Dementors, which in turn brought forth a Patronus and then Snape. Let's just say, I was glad nobody asked me questions during the meeting.

p/s. 7 horcruxes and 7 HP books. Coincidence? Unlikely. Indeed, Rowling did pour a little of her soul into each book and through them guarantee her immortality.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Chocolate frogs and Butterbeer

We went to watch Harry Potter today. Daniel Radcliff still looks like a kid thank god, and the Weasley twins are looking more dashing and the effects are as usual - magical. Nevertheless quite a few things have been left out and it does not convey depth nor continuation which, especially for a fan of the series, is unforgivable.

Characters were treated rather cursorily and the death of Sirius, pardon the pun, was not serious at all. In all I would give the movie a C+. Get the book. Perhaps it is unfair to expect a 2 and a half hour film to do the work of a 900 page book but then, the last film fared much better.

Nevertheless the movie's timing is just perfect to launch the last book of the series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I would definitely need to have a quick read through The Half-Blood Prince as I have forgotten just so many things from it. I want to remember the loose ends that Rowling has promised to tie up with the upcoming book.

While my itchy fingers are dying to get the book, I know that my RM99 can be better spent elsewhere. Do I wait for the book to be up for rent or do I succumb to desire - you will be the first to know. I don't know if I am ready to be done with HP's wizardly world. Anyone bound for Hogsmeade?

It's nothing but mocktails from now on

A few tips for a night out.

1. Eat more that a cheese frankfurther for dinner
2. Plan to have only ONE long island ice tea a night
3. Do NOT have another above-mentioned drink within a half hour of the other
4. A whisky right after is NOT a good idea
5. When your stomach starts having a mind of its own, it is probably a good idea to obey unconditionally
6. When the club fixtures seem to look more becoming than the men around you, it is time to leave
7. Always have a friend/boyfriend/maid at home to hold your hair back while you offer your stomach contents to the toilet bowl goddess

Man, I got plastered on Friday. I have disgraced my people.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Social Reform tomorrow?

I know of a cancer survivor.

She survived stage 1 cancer by early detection and surgery.

Now she is free from the disease.

But now nobody wants to hire her because of her increased risk in contracting cancer again. Companies do not want to have to pay a higher premium for her insurance.

So she survives cancer but is now discriminated against because of it.

My heart bleeds for her. It is so wrong. Something is seriously wrong with the way we run our lives.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Hocus pocus, piles and locusts

I resent it deeply when I am made to sacrifice my weekends. Especially when I do not get compensation. And when it was never mentioned up front. And even more so when it is not my job at all.

My dad advocates hard work and patience. My heart advocates handing in a rude tell-all no-holds barred resignation letter. Delivered down the throat of the unnamed perpetrator naturally. Yet looking at priorities - sustenance, habitat and ZARA is on sale - the road i take is a no brainer. The last week has been a particularly trying one. I hope I will not resort to confrontation because I am not good at keeping my temper. And what is worse, my voice turns into a high pitched squeak when I am emotional. Totally wipes out the gravity of the situation. Who takes a mouse seriously I ask you.

And professionalism is a man-made fallacy. Are you going to say that say for example you get screwed by your boss, embarrassed in public, made the scapegoat out of, taken advantage of, backstabbed, etc -you can still keep a straight face, concentrate on work alone and don't let it get to you personally? Who are you kidding? Only boulders do that. Pathological homicidal fantasies are made of these, baby.

So just to let you know that while i am working on this blasted paper on this Sunday afternoon, blunt force trauma is not too far away.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Thunderstorms

Just like how some songs have a special significance attached to it due to some personal experience, some places also resonate vibes so strong that the mere mention of its name or something just remotely connected to it will triggers a deluge of unbidden emotions.

For instance, I cannot use Rejoice shampoo anymore because its scent reminds me of the communal showers on a hot summer day at UWC of Hong Kong. And I pine to go back in time again. And maybe this time, I will try to be nice to the resident poet.

For reasons that are unknown to me, I have been thinking of Singapore lately and I feel an immense loneliness. It is inexplicable.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Just breathe

Recently I have been having heart palpitations. Like a little hummingbird trapped in my chest cavity wondering what the heck it is doing there and it wants out-fast.

A quick search indicated that some of the the possible reasons include stress (check), anxiety(check) or excessive alcohol (if only).

Being aware of my mortality with every irregular heartbeat is a bizarre experience.
Just breathe.
*cue Telepopmusik

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Long overdued fist shaking

I have been the recipient of so many many random acts of kindness in my youth. But KL living takes its toll on the mind and soul. It makes me Bitter and Cold. Envious and Unkind.

The better half says I take on a different persona when I step out of the house in the morning. Suit pressed, heels poised, face scrunched , fists clenched, its like I am going to annihilate anything that gets in my way. I become snappy and I feel the anger so. In other words, I morph into a first class grade A bitch. And super oddly, it peaks when I am commuting.

For every above act of kindness, here in KL I have had to witness what seems like equal instances of selfishness, injustice, boorishness and corruption. From street vendors cheating me of my money to pedestrians stealing my cab, I sometimes wonder if I am the only one who still plays by the rules of conscience and decency.

Then from out of the blue sky a good samaritan would drop by and totally change my perception of the world and everything is fine again. Isn't it so sad that good samaritans are so few and far between that when they do appear, they make national news.

I play a different pantomime in the office because of the politics there, so that does not count. That will need a different rant altogether. Preferable with a stiff drink.

sick puppy

I have been languishing these few days from one of the worse bouts of flu I have ever had the misfortune to endure. My colleagues are convinced that I am just finding an excuse to have a few days off, and while that may be true, my affliction is as genuine as Marilyn Monroe's mole. (I made you wonder its authenticity for a minute, admit it)

In any case it was much needed sleep and a lesson not to make fun of sick people.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Disappearing Act

Oh boy, has it been a draining week. My limbs still ache from the memory. The Company just organised an international conference which demanded the sacrifice of time, sweat, brain cells and fresh blood (well it turned out that we could not get a fresh dead body for the live operation, so the doctors did their procedure on a pickled cadaver instead. It looked like charred beef).

I do have an interesting job, don't I? Although I am not sure how many people would actually be envious?

Despite the team being shorthanded and under-experienced, the high-staked event did go smoothly with a few gurgles as oppose to massive hiccups. So good that my Boss even allowed us to be zombies for a few days until the after-effects of excess coffee and cigarettes wear off.

Well there were nice perks. Posh dinner parties are always happy gastronomical events. Especially when we have RM400 bottles of wine open. Guess who was a happy birdie?
I was the photographer extraordinaire for the evening and for all the golden shaky pictures, I blame the chandelier. Bad lighting. Bad bad lighting.

Also I know the secret to why French women are so slim. The potions are TINY to sincerely accommodate the Malaysian national appetite. I mean Nasi Kandar Pelita it is definitely not, but no matter how you want to dress velouté de petits pois au lard croustillant it is still green pea soup.

All the fancy dining has crated a massive craving for ayam kurma. I know, I am such a peasant but the carbo deprivation is more damaging to the soul than all the stress.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Little Triumphs of the Heart

Over the weekend I stumbled upon the holy grail of plastic kitchen appliances. Introducing Le Salad Spinner. I have been looking for this baby since forever. You just can't find of these in KL. I got to learn about this wonderful contraption from a friend who got hers from LA. No more soggy romaine! Squishy croutons - be gone! It only cost me RM36 at MetroJaya. And it was on one of those Must Go bins. I am SO easily pleased.

Maroon 5 - sweet!

I still can't categorize the type of music this band performs but their latest single is insanely catchy. There are bands that are good for a couple of songs and there are bands that convert listeners to fans en mass.

Maroon 5 has defined my late twenties with its leading characters. Delicious doesn't begin to define it.

Adam Levine is just a dream. I think he looks edgier when he was a little scruffy looking for the Songs About Jane album. Sure he cleans up well but he looks better in faded jeans than in a suit.

YES, this is one very very rare occasions when a man looks better out of suit than in it. Hm, that didn't quite come out right. But still accurate. In all seriousness, clothes do make the man. In most cases it is because most men boasts the physique of Bacchus as oppose to David under all the robes.

I am one of those women that places personality over shaving. Which is why when we did an office survey Jack Sparrow was my hero over the wig wearing swash-buckling navy commander. On second thoughts, I have to qualify that. By not shaving I mean a five o'clock shadow and when I said Jack Sparrow, I meant the damn hot Johnny Depp underneath the beads and bad teeth.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

My Fair Lady

A friend of mine gave me these fantastic tickets to watch My Fair Lady - the Musical. It was wonderful. I was pleasantly surprised that K also enjoyed the show. Men are not known to be particularly enchanted by singing productions.

We didn't really dress up for the event, what with coming directly from work. But some people did, with their plunging necklines and perfumed hair. Of course some people did saunter in with their faded jeans. Of course we were smug in our office casuals, horribly glad that we didn't embarrass ourselves by coming overdressed.

Anyway, the seats were great, the cast was great, the audience was well behaved, maybe except for the inconsiderate idiot who thought that nobody would notice her wailing toddler. The songs really brought back memories of watching Audrey Hepburn shaking her fists at Rex Harrison in the pastel 1950s original adaptation.

I have one complaint though. Eliza's dress was dismal! The dress she wore for the Ascot scene was far superior to the one she wore to the Embassy Ball. It made her look so frumpy. It is just as the poster but with an added glittering piece draped across her chest which only made her look worse if you asked me. What a pity. Well we women notice these things.

But nevertheless the musical was very enjoyable!

Nice saucer

So many things to do but so little precious time. Universal grouse I am sure. I do wonder how some people juggle a career, a family and a life, with a couple pets thrown in.

Quiet times are good times. Cathartic and rejuvenating. And rare. I did a quick stock take over the weekend (which was actually a 5 minute day-dream in Popular book store). In my head I have this picture of this woman who looks dangerously like me (only thinner) leading this fantastically fulfilling and balanced life. She resonates contentment and is loved by people and inanimate objects alike. The ideal woman that would even make Oprah weep. And she sits there, in my mind, eating crumpets and having tea, living the alternate life, MY alternate life of happiness, health and goodwill to all men.

It is so easy to be good to other people but so much harder to be good to one's self. It is easier to feed to a man oatmeal than to stop binging on Lay's Salt and Vinegar. I will be the first to admit that I have very lofty ideals. That woman in my mind is proof that I inspire to great things. But then things never go as plan do they? Blame it on faithlessness, sloth, envy, pride and 30% discount on pastries. If only discipline and determination came in tablets.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Lessons from another's mistake

Over the week I witnessed first hand the folly of over-promising and under-delivering.

A external PR consultant had the misfortune of promising my employers considerable media coverage at the pick of a phone call. When she was pitching herself, she didn't realise that my boss is quite a media luminary herself. Believing her sales pitch, we let her organise press while my side did the logistics at a major hotel here.

So I will leave you to imagine the horror and embarrassment when only ONE reporter turned up. And it didn't help that when the consultant blamed the low turn out on a bigger press event somewhere else, my boss actually called up the editors of our major dailies only to find that there was no big event that warranted any pull out from our press conference. Of course she made it clear to the consultant what she thought of the whole thing .

I am not even more terrified of my boss now but so in awe of her ability to bite someone's head of in as civil a manner as having tea with the Queen. (okey, maybe not the queen but say.. Margaret Thatcher). And I hope never to be caught in such a situation ever in this life or the next. I think I am traumatized.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

More ads

The perils of not having your eyes checked.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Rock, jangan tak Rock


On Friday, the office was having a full day PA system test in preparation for an inspection by the Fire Department.

And since the security fellas in charge of the PA system didn't have any other CDs on hand, the hospital reverberated -from the foundations up- from the raw strains of Scorpions and Metallica.
I never thought my workplace could be so cool. Albeit accidentally cool. Good thing there were no patients.

Enter Sandman is the best music for a boring afternoon meeting, I tell you.

Wock on, brudder!

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Tenant woes

The entries into the blog has been pretty poor lately, I admit. Preachy even.
Complaining is so passe, no? But have issues with my tenant. The fact that I have to share living space is bad enough but to share with a kid, his dog and his mom?

We clearly stated that the room was for 1 and we made exceptions for the dog but his mom has been staying with him for weeks and weeks. While the increased cost is a small issue, we are pissed off because he was strictly told that the rent for was ONE and a different rate applies for two. Initially we thought that the mother would only stay for a short period but this is ridiculous.

We have a problem with water supply and with the addition of every new member into the house, it gets worse. Hence our strict restrictions about the number of people in our house.
While on one hand we want to be accommodating but now I think we are being taken advantage of. I have a good mind to kick him out.

Ads and more ads

I like ads. I go to cinemas early to watch ads.
I love the varied states of mind a 15 second of burst of creativity can induce. Currently I am hooked to
Intel's Core 2 Duo processor Multiply ads by Vaughan Arnell.
Love the music too.

Monday, April 30, 2007

Girly Man

Know how my You Tube posts are usually a. random and b. pointless, here is another one.

Remember how Michael Jackson's Thriller was like the video of the century?
Apparently there is another one. From India.
And some precious Jackass even did the phonetic subtitles for the benefit of us English speakers. Sooo worth the download. If some reason you can't see it here, just search the keywords "Indian Thriller Subtitles" on YouTube. Speakers compulsary!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Calves of steel

My mom lives alone. Hence she does not really have many people to talk to most times. That is why that now that she is here in KL for the weekend, she is like a stand-up but on speed.

Sure it is a good thing. But so is breathing. Plus Mom is champion of long distance shopping and together with my dad, they can traverse the entire length of OneUtama a few times in a single day. So couple marathon narration with cross-country training and what do you get? Two pooped kids.

The current boyfriend has given up on us and politely excuses himself from the adventures we have but we biological offspring don't have a whisper of a chance to escape. I have tried introducing to them the lure of nature and culture (Stonehenge and Stratford-upon-Avon, no less). The attempt was treated with civilized tolerance but after a few stifled yawns on a park bench, I got the hint and parked them in a mall. Sigh.

Looks like it will be the same this time round.
Heels, make way for sneakers, for tis gonna be a long long walk.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Are you really suprised?

I am totally shocked and embarrassed by the attitude of some Malaysians.

My friend R was involved in a near-fatal hit and run. He sustained heavy injuries which included multiple fractures all over his body. His car fell off a highway ramp and the driver who hit his car sped off without even calling for help! In between slipping in and out of consciousness R had to call his friend on his own mobile for help and get this, the fire department only came after 45 minutes and after they cut open the car to remove the poor bloke, bystanders were robbing him as he lay on the ground!

The few firefighters were controlling the crowd and it was not until the medics came that they managed to create a ring around him to keep the crowd away. R had to use his broken arm to protect his wallet and the chain around his neck until his friends came to the scene. He lost his phone and watch. It is just so disgusting how people are.

Apparently this is a common thing. I was told that whenever there is an accident, the tow truck drivers would rob the cars before providing help to the victims. So there you go. Sick innit?

Pendidikan Moral

And so the passage into the treacherous 30s is upon me.
I have yet to have own a vintage Lanvin, I am still in Hush Puppies and I still don't have a pad to call my own. 'Tis a shame really. Nevertheless late bloomers last the longest. I hope.

It took me a long time indeed to find myself and I am still not too sure I have the correct answer. Perhaps maturity is the quiet acknowledgement that the point of existence is not to discover but instead to create oneself, and the acceptance of doing the best one can in any given situation. Sounds like hard work and for me, it is.

Over the weekend I just found out how a good friend of mine came within inches of certain death. The experience totally changed his life. Life life to the fullest he says. There is no time left for embarrassments, regrets or procrastination. Which is why he now drives a Mercedes I suppose.

Sloth is something of a best friend of mine. Fear comes in a close second. Ok, they are habits that need to be shoved out my 15th storey window but try hacking off your own arm. I mean, easier said that done no?

I take risks as easily as I take arsenic so let's just say I am as uptight and edgy as the next turkey in line for Thanksgiving dinner. So having my well meaning friends come tell me to loosen up is kinda funny.

I have been super lucky in that while I have been born with this cloud of gloom and doom, I have always had good people around me who have dragged me out of quagmires. And they are worth a million Marc Jacobs. Blessings indeed. Best present a girl can ask for.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

No shows

I went to a pot luck party over the weekend to celebrate a friend's birthday and out of the 13 office mates invited, only me and another girl showed up.

Sure he was disappointed and I felt so bad for the birthday boy. So we had a party with just the three of us. If I was in his shoes, I would have been pissed off. I mean everyone had the opportunity to decline when invited but cancelling at the last minute is just so sad.

That settles it. For my wedding, it will be only family and close friends.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Look of Lurve

I have two friends (absolutely sweethearts) who being former airline crew, are very concerned with beauty and all its manifestations. It was their bed and butter, this looking prim and proper, and they are as polished as glass.

Then suddenly into their live I tumbled and I am pet project number one.

Of course I do not begrudge them. How could I possibly? Yet I did snap at one of them off the other day to stop talking about my appearance every time we meet. I felt so guilty afterwards that I ended up buying a can of hair spray. Talk about being a wimp.

I have mixed feeling about this. Being prouder of being called a geek than a girly girl, I find all this fussing so alien. While I hope I don’t give people the impression that my fashion sense is circa 1883, I seriously don’t give a hoot if I am a Summer or a Winter (which is crucial in determining your colour palette, by the way).

Looks like I am not going to land myself a millionaire playboy anytime soon.

Yet in this day and age, looks do matter. Now THAT I can begrudge. And I can begrudge till the cows come home and the pigs take flight but that there is a fact of life. The hunchback of Notre Dame will never win product endorsements and Angelina Jolie will never be without a job.

Women, we are strange creatures, no? We protect our young with the purest and the best and then slather on potentially carcinogenic war paint to face the world. The drugs we take and mutilations we endure. If I was not a woman myself, I would call us stupid to the point of being insane. Men have known this since time immemorial. Real men don’t wear eye shadow. Nor have tummy tucks.

Due to medical reasons I removed my trademark mole on my upper lip on Friday. This decision had taken me years to make. I can still recall the smell of burning flesh as the laser pierced my skin. I didn’t think I could unclench my toes again. And now I am walking around with what looks like a splat of ketchup on my face. I am told that it will heal. Oh well. This feeling of not giving a toss to what people say, is certainly liberating.

Poison - taken after meals

I am very disturbed with the practice of some our doctors here.

I have some issues with my skin, and twice I have been prescribed isotretinoin by dermatologists. So a fly can’t ice skate over my skin without falling a few times, ok fine, but I don’t think I have cystic/nodular acne severe enough to justify the use of the drug.

Isotretinoin is a last resort medication and in the US prescribed under the strictest control to cure the most severe form of acne. It is very powerful drug that would cause severe deformities in babies carried in the womb.

In the States women on the drug are recommended to take TWO types of birth control to ensure there is no risk of pregnancy. It can also cause depression, thoughts of suicide and psychosis, including increased pressure in the brain that can lead to permanent lost of eyesight, loss of hearing and even death. I am not kidding. These facts were taken from the US FDA.

The drug is so lethal that in the States there is a risk management plan for patients taking this drug and women must take two pregnancy tests before going on the drug, a negative pregnancy test before their medication refill and they must sign a legal document to say that they understand the risks of taking this drug.

Not so in KL. Both time I was prescribed, I was not told the name of the drug and not even the possible side effects. Only to not get pregnant and to collect the capsules on the way out, like it was aspirin or something.

You can imagine my shock when I did my research. I like to get depressed all on my own thank you very much without drugs to do the job for me. It is very irresponsible for doctors to prescribe isotretinoin without telling patients the full extent of the side-effects. The drug is costly at RM200 for a month’s supply and I suppose it is good income for them. And my boyfriend wonders why I don’t trust anybody.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Marketing at a new level

I am getting increasingly bothered by this not so new trend of calling sales persons Marketing Evangelists. Besides being ridiculous to the point of being corny, how can you actually take marketing Evangelists seriously.

My last encounter with an Evangelist (in the truest sense of the word here) was as memorable as choking on a bowling ball. Years ago I was walking through a nice public square, minding my own business when this Korean bloke came up and without even an introduction demanded to know if I was a Christian. Upon hearing that I am but a dirty heathen, quizzed me with amazement as to why don't I care what happens to me when I die. As my grandmother would say, CHOY! Talk about having a magnetic personality. Then he started following me around. All thoughts of enjoying the sunshine evaporated and I barely escaped with my pagan faith intact.

That experience stayed with me a long time and while peoples of different faiths have tried to save my soul, (perhaps because my aura is as bright as soot), my defences are on perpetual red alert. I mean, not everyone likes being told within 5 minutes of being introduced, that they will end up toast on judgement day should they not convert to the 'right' religion.

I guess if I had a chance to talk to that Korean bloke again, I would have some hard questions for him but sometimes I find that some people get emotional when their faith is questioned or criticised. Well I am after all in Malaysia where it is all the more taboo as interfaith dialogue is perceived as detrimental to national security as a rabbi setting up a synagogue in Kampung Pandan.

Anyway back to the topic, if companies actually think that I am going to warm up to their marketing Evangelists, they have got another thing coming! Anyone knows where I can get a taser in KL?

A love hate relationship

I will be getting a MacBook. Alright, it will belong to my department but nevertheless woo hoo!
New toy! New toy! Oh yeah!

My department seems to do more presentations than MGM studios and seeing that our art director/gastro enterologist will be returning to Vienna in 2 weeks, looks like we will be expected to whip up mountains of brilliant creativity to justify the purchase of this instrument of our doom.

So it is will be more work but I am hoping that with the MacBook, it will also be play, at least until the novelty wears off.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Subtitles

This video clip is a hoot. Enjoy!

I like to move it

Absence doth make the heart grow fonder. NOT.

In all honesty, burrowing under the covers makes for a better weekend than writing about the week that was, particularly when the week that was, was to say the least, weak.

'Tis treacherous times at the office currently. The political undercurrents run as swiftly and as silently as anything you can attribute to the Brotherhood of the Knights Templar. Blood drips at the flick of a paperclip. One colleague has left to pursue a lawsuit against another. I was offered her cubicle and I am like choy! Bad Feng Shui. Unless you bring in a priest complete with burning
frankincense or douse the place with air bunga - no chance man. Super ugly affair. Sorry, no sordid details in case I get subpoenaed or worse - be named in a defamation suit. See my legal training did come in useful after all.

But work is not all gloom and drudgery.

My team had the task of turning a poor volunteer into a Marilyn Monroe. To celebrate our Director's birthday, we are getting said volunteer to sing him a happy birthday song during our company's monthly forum.

So what if our volunteer is a chunky guy with hairy legs. We went to this costume place in Desa Hartamas and we managed to squeeze him into a frock, complete with fake latex boobs that even has with nipples attached too. It took two men to dress him in the tiny changing room.

For something that is so common for us women, things like wearing a skirt take on a bizarre twist when it comes to drag dressing. Especially when one hears loud masculine voices going, “Man, your bra is showing la, dude!”

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Brunch in the clouds

Taxi to KL Tower: RM14.00
Brunch for one at Seri Angkasa Revolving Restaurant: RM80.00
Day-long headache from the orbiting view: PRICELESS

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Tea for two hundred

I have a reputation for feeding people at the office. No Tupperwares of cookies and cakes here.

I am responsible for feeding the masses. Not like Jesus, no.
I am fortunate to have the services of caterers. And I have them on speed dial.

I organise events and one idiosyncrasy of the Malaysian office worker is the dire need of food before/during/after any event of any importance. Be it sweet sour fish to karipap kentang, munchies are as much part of the agenda as the agenda itself.
And let us not forget the tea and coffee, and with condensed milk, excuse me.

Caterers are a species of their own, certainly. I have one darling caterer that is so casual that all I do is to give him a call and it is all done! Food for 200 without signing a piece of paper. Of course I get ulcers during the hours running up to the event, wondering if the bugger will show up at all.

Then I have the ones that are so bloody anal that I need to sign like a ream of paper before they would even agree to accept my booking. Don’t you hate people in the service industry who act as if they are doing you one big favour? Sheesh. I am dealing with one dingbat who would not even give me papadums for free. His reason? That they MAY go soft and ruin HIS reputation. Never again!!

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Along Along Bukit Beruntung

This clip has been spreading like a virus through office emails and this is so side splittingly funny that I felt that I must share it with you. Ah Long is colloquial for loan shark/illegal moneylender.

It is by two Malay guys who are imitating two Chinese guys trying to speak Malay. The clip is by Afdlin Shauki and Din Beramboi. It may take a few minutes to load but it is sooo worth it.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Happy Lunar New Year

Lately I have been an absolute fiend when it comes to updating my sites. Work is becoming such an inconvenience. It is coming to a point that Dilbert is no longer funny. I swear Scott Adams is an intern at my office. 'Tis evil evil times.

Anyway, on a happier note - Keong Hee Huat Chai! Look HERE for my Chinese New Year misadventures. (Having two sites now is becoming a nuisance.)

Thursday, February 01, 2007

And the Monster Writes on

After years of broken resolutions, I have finally come round to owning my very own website. Yeay!

The new site is still very much a work in progress and as to its future, my guess is just as good as yours . I am letting it finds its own voice and I am excited to see where it leads me.

I will most definately continue with this blog as it has morphed from being a personal journal of healing and discovery to becoming the principal method friends and family know that I am still alive and complaining.

But I am not going to tell you where all the juicy and scandalous bit will be.
Click here: www.monsterwrites.com

Makeover shakeover

I have been hanging around the guys for too long. What little fashion sense I had dissolved along the way and now that I am back in the PR industry, I look like the Queen Mother among the Uma Thurmans, sans the gloves and royal sophistication of course.

It does not help that my Director only shops at Starhill, my manager is super gorgeous, and our secretary has three kids yet looks like a Malay pop idol. Oh, and I will be working closely with 3 immaculate ladies who are ex-cabin crew.

Now let me slither back under the rock where I came from.

I never really felt the need to be dolled up to go to work but now I wonder if I am an anomaly. I grudgingly admit that it is natural to be attracted to a beauty instead of a toad, regardless of her valuable expertise in Powerpoint, branding and copy-editing.

Before comments start coming in, I tell you, I am NOT overreacting. I have been so busy trying to make my employers look good that I neglect the walking advertisement that I am. (Currently the message I am sending out is along the lines of Will Work for Rebonding.)

Perhaps it might be a good idea to stop looking like a cabbage when I step into the office.
Nothing is as miserable as longing to go shopping when one is broke. Plus I have another problem. How do you conjure up fashion sense?

Sunday, January 28, 2007

A little bit of nothing

I like my job quite a lot. This was exactly what I said about my last job. I ended up hating every moment of it. So this is the sickening lull before the storm. I am waiting for my exuberance to choke me in mid-sentence.

I am terrified of confrontations. While I think I can stand up for myself, my nerves get so twisted that I end up screaming and creating a scene. I can get so angry that I cry! Yeah, real professional like.

Like any self respecting citizen, I loath people taking advantage of me, which of course covers everyone from blooming taxi drivers to bossy colleagues. Why can’t everyone just be nice?

I should stop referring to The Company at the risk of being Dooced. Especially since The Company is not only making me sign a non-disclosure agreement, I also have to have it witnessed and stamped. Stamping makes a document official. So official in fact that if can be produced in court as it is without having to prove the maker or signatories. (Once a lawyer, the trauma stays for life.)

With that information in mind, I think ye be not doing anything so stupid as to blog about thy job. Off the record, it is killing me though.

So what do I tell you about my week that does not involve work. Hmm. I will need to get back to you on that