It is quite despicable. Feeling sorry for myself is such a preoccupation. But it is so much easier than doing anything about it.
The hours and days go whoosh and so I blame not having time to change my pathetic little life. I blame the media for imposing impossible standards of beauty on women. I hold my parents responsible for all the childhood insecurities that has festered over the years, maturing into this bitter old bat. I blame my deliberately fragmented society for all the sick rotten prejudices that have denied me affordable education, housing and occupation.
It is hard when all the negativity gets to you and the good of the world is overshadowed by hate and sorrow and violence and arrogance. I truly believe that humankind is doomed. I doubt even religion can bring salvation. Is my God better than yours? The all benevolent God, the one that preaches kindness and good, and love and compassion, will be the same one who will condemn you wretched infidels into the fiery depths of hell to suffer for all eternity. That is if the fanatics don't toss you in there first.
Politicians behaving like fools, arrogant judges who have no regard for common courtesy (talk to any chambering student) , drivers who kill people with steering locks - sigh that is it, all my donations will now be channelled to animal welfare. Quoting Calvin from the venerable Calvin and Hobbes, "the surest sign of intelligent life out there (in space) is the fact that none of them have tried to contact us."
I am depressed.
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