Monday, June 30, 2014

Will someone try to fix me? Anyone?

A candle in the dark. The screen dims. Melancholy playing softly. It's 1997 all over again. It has come full circle. Alone and alone again.

I still can't tell which is harder. Starting over. Or letting go.

The change is overwhelming. The best analogy i have is being at the base of the mountain, looking to the sky. Feeling defeated even before I begin.

Acceptance is humbling. When I am on my knees crying and nobody's there to comes save me. So there's nothing left to be done but stare at the stars as they travel further away.

My aspirations have always been modest. Still, a pebble has no business longing for love and belonging when they remain inconsequential, standing for nothing, offering nothing. It is devastating being replaced and ignored.

Hard lesson against trying to look for validation in other people. As I have been advised, I WILL be disappointed.

Only I am afraid of being my own hero. Heros dont usually run on empty.

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