The dreams are back.
This time I was in a square surrounded by tall buildings. I was with a friend. It was cold as she had a red scarf on. The weather was grey. It was like a movie shot in instagram.
Then in front of me I saw an abandoned building, with countless people standing within its open collums and walless floors. I sensed that they were protesting about something and then there was a loud cheer and everyone made ready to leave. There was one guy in a sky blue bubble jacket. I could see him from afar.
Without warning the centre shaft collapsed and the man in blue together with the crowd around him plunged down as one by one the floors gave way and we all heard the drop down the stories, through the ground into the basement floors .. falling and falling.
Then the buildings around me started to fall apart, bricks falling like dislodged lego crumbling bit by bit then whole facades collaped down into the square. I lost my friend. Then I realised my mother was with me and I lost her too. And my friend's mother.
All around me people screamed and screamed.
I was there, a participant in the spectacle, watching as the world imploded as though its foundation was rocked by an invisible earthquake.
Then just as sudden I realised that I was now, completely alone. With nothing. And the feeling of helplessness, uncertainty and complete horror of not knowing what to do was so crippling. I woke up shaking and unable to crawl out of bed for a good half hour.
If that was just my dream. I cannot fathom the misery of the survivors of typhoon haiyan.
Then I too despaired.