Sunday, October 23, 2005

Terror of the skies

This time next week, I will be officially unemployed. Shifting out of comfort zones have always entailed a certain chilling anxiety that is akin to visits to the neurosurgeon.

I think women receive a more severe dose of this anxiety as we tend to become more emotionally involved in our responsibilities, relationships and work environment. A lot of the time we strive so hard to fit into our roles that more often than not, we succeed so well that it becomes difficult to extricate ourselves when its crunch time.

Anyway, back to the subject,I am shit terrified. I will be leaving my safe, predictable and not too stressful job for a stint as a pupil reading in a lawyer's chambers with the ultimate aim of qualifying as a lawyer in 9 months time. I will only be given a pathetic stipend from my new boss who has forewarned that I will be scolded often by the lawyers and magistrates, that I will have too much to do, that stress levels will cause my relationships to suffer and I will need to buy myself a car to travel across the state to attend court. (and I DESPISE driving) Plus quite a few of the local lawyers I have had the misfortune to meet are stuck up prats who think too highly of themselves.

Am I a sucker for punishment or what?

And my new boss, she likes to push people to their maximum potential which predictably includes evicting people from their comfort zones when it starts to look a little too cozy.
Oh joy.

But anyway, I am trying to keep a positive attitude although I am starting to feel like a prisoner whistling to the gallows.

But this IS crunch time and I need to disetangle my heavy roots and heavy heart and fly free again, albeit up to a stormy sky.

1 comment:

Dilvin said...


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference

...when it is time to move on, say goodbye and then, forward we go. :)