This time next week, I will be officially unemployed. Shifting out of comfort zones have always entailed a certain chilling anxiety that is akin to visits to the neurosurgeon.
I think women receive a more severe dose of this anxiety as we tend to become more emotionally involved in our responsibilities, relationships and work environment. A lot of the time we strive so hard to fit into our roles that more often than not, we succeed so well that it becomes difficult to extricate ourselves when its crunch time.
Anyway, back to the subject,I am shit terrified. I will be leaving my safe, predictable and not too stressful job for a stint as a pupil reading in a lawyer's chambers with the ultimate aim of qualifying as a lawyer in 9 months time. I will only be given a pathetic stipend from my new boss who has forewarned that I will be scolded often by the lawyers and magistrates, that I will have too much to do, that stress levels will cause my relationships to suffer and I will need to buy myself a car to travel across the state to attend court. (and I DESPISE driving) Plus quite a few of the local lawyers I have had the misfortune to meet are stuck up prats who think too highly of themselves.
Am I a sucker for punishment or what?
And my new boss, she likes to push people to their maximum potential which predictably includes evicting people from their comfort zones when it starts to look a little too cozy.
But anyway, I am trying to keep a positive attitude although I am starting to feel like a prisoner whistling to the gallows.
But this IS crunch time and I need to disetangle my heavy roots and heavy heart and fly free again, albeit up to a stormy sky.