Monday, May 25, 2009
Its a new dawn, its a new day
so says Nina Simone.
So things change. No surprises there. Rolling pebble down an abyss or hurling meteor across time and space, change is the single constant of the universe.
Yet I am going to be stubornly adamant and reel at the thought of how different a year makes. Am I any the wiser? Unlikely so. Becoming more of a fool - most certainly. Not necessarily a bad thing.
Our growing up only allows us to cultivate thicker linings to stomach pain, heartbreak, injustice and disappointments that come out way. Guess we get better at accepting fate and what she throws in our laps, be it strawberries or herrings.
And it takes an epiphany/breakdown to jolt us out of apathy and self-indulgent martyrdom, toss caution back in her face, and seek happiness before we die.
It may all sound like claptrap to you but wait till you hit your threshold. (Yes I am talking from experience, dammit!)
And when realisation strikes you that you are exactly where you navigated yourself to be, that its all YOUR fault, there is a very pronounced "Oh Damn!" moment followed but a moment of empowerment in that you know that you are the master of your destiny after all. After all you got yourself in this shit in the first place. So you can get yourself out.
So I am backing out from this rut, comfortable as it has become. My half year resolutions already has a soundtrack. Changes have been set in motion. As my the Bwadah say, its all positive chi, man.
Today I lopped off 5 inches of my hair, finally.
And I am feeling good.