Monday, May 22, 2006

D, for Deranged

There comes a time in one's life when certain questions start making frequent appearances.

Like what is my purpose in life? What do I really believe about death? Do I want children? Am I successful? What IS success? Am I going to be a spinster with 12 cats?

Personally it freaks me out. Sometimes I can calm down and convince myself that things will turn out okie dokie, piggy pokey. But being one's own personal motivation coach is hard, and who motivates the motivation coach?

I just did a RIASEC test over the weekend. It is supposed to tell me, according to my personality traits, what job suits me best. It appears I am a ISA. Investigative, Artistic and Social and the career suggestions range from copy writer, editor of a dictionary and art appraiser to a video operator, psychiatrist and librarian. Psycology appears quite often. Shucks not only am I a nutcase, I seem to like treating other nutcases too. I should have taken up that course at university. I think I would have really enjoyed it.

And I can't do sales or business to save my life. Well they got that spot on. And law features nowhere on the list. I was quite dismayed as I was hoping , with toes and fingers crossed till they were blue, that law was supposed to be my element somehow and that maybe my utter loathing for the profession was just a fluke. But nothing can brace me for the shattering truth that I STUDIED THE WRONG SUBJECT. I weep at all the wasted pounds I could have spent studying English and Art History. I could have been a curator, an english professor or knowing Malaysia's employment climate, a Starbucks barristar.

I was reading a couple of other peoples blogs recently, (because I am a darn nosy, that's why), mostly Americans and Brits, , and I noticed that people can graduate with anything under the sun yet come out to do something else and its really OK. How exquisite is it to be an antiques restorer or a horse trainer or a furniture designer..

In my universe on the other hand, I got so much flak for leaving law to do communications earlier and now that I will be finishing my pupilage, once my family gets wind that I am applying for publishing positions again instead of practising-oh will I ever hear the last of it.

But in the words on Jon Bon Jovi "its my life". Deep, no?
I have just applied for the post of a legal editor. I just hope that I won't regret leaving practising. Someone got a crystal ball?


w.e.n.d.y said...

These similar questions are running in my mind now.....
I did a similar test to see whom I'm supposed to be and it seems I have to be a performer - performer as in actress, singer (I can croak), stage performance....I'm glad I still am on stage in the gym and it's kind of true. I get the feeling of peacefulness after every Body Balance class.

jo said...

you should really try for that assistant editor job. my friend who's position it was for a while, did editing of an encyclopedia. sorry, not dictionary but close enough. :)

why do something that depresses you because everyone thinks you should be doing?

success is not about wealth and position as the world wants us to believe.

ah, this is gonna end up like a blog entry. we'll talk about it at our next lunch.

Anonymous said...

No sense doing what depresses you! We spend most of our lives at work ... there's no point being miserable for a significant proportion of your life! It's important to follow your interests. Why stick at law just because everyone expects this of you? However, at least you did make an attempt to see whether practising would suit you - hence the pupillage. Now you know and it's time to close the (legal) book.

Just my two sen's worth! Hope you are well in other respects!


Monster said...

Yeay!! Responses!
I am not the only one reading my own blog after all. You make me weep.

I feel I can almost give up chocolate as my emotional crutch now.

God, what am I saying?