I have disappeared for a while to go home and visit my mom. If you have been keeping up with my incessant complaining, you would know that my parents' marriage is at a turning point.
And like a wooden stake lodged into a vampire's heart, this trip back drove home one point - I can't live with my mom if I am to remain sane.
Her values and approach to life is very old-school, not that I have a problem with that. But she has a very hot temper and a tongue to match.
She never really fancied me. My childhood years were miserable ones. Affection and attention deprived, I don't know how to explain to the men i date why I am so emotionally screwed up at times.
Mother has mellowed down through the years although my dad had to bear the brunt of her frustrations a lot as my brother and I exited the nest. And now it appears even dad has given up.
My mom is all sweet to me now and as much as I try, I cannot help but wonder if it is because she has no one left on her side. Now with this problem she is having with dad, I try to be supportive but on our trip home, my brother and I ended up on the receiving end of my mom's fury. Sigh.
I am trying so hard to be understanding but it is proving to be difficult. Perhaps it is also because I have not forgiven her for a lot of the pain and heartache I was put through.
Who would have thought that being fillial would be so hard.